You meet a seemingly great guy either organically at a bar or online. You exchange numbers and begin texting. The conversation is effortless — you share similar tastes and make each other laugh. He walks to you respective subway stop — you kiss and make plans to see each other again.
You chat a bit via text for the next few days, but a second date never happens.
If you are a single gay man who lives in a large city such as New York City — you have had this happen to you before. Work can be stressful, keeping up with friends can be a task and taking a few moments to relax can be fleeting.
Mellott in single gay men So why is it that gay men make dating so much harder than it needs to be? Gay men are — for the most part — a great group of people. Of course we have a few bad apples every group does but we are talented, hard-working people who share a sense of community and have banned together in times of strife and prejudice.
Why then are we so terrible to each other when it comes to finding a mate? Time and time again I hear horror stories of bad first dates, ghosting and people telling flat out lies to first daters.
I have had many, many, many first dates in the past year and a half but very few second dates. Here are some of the reasons I have received for not being asked on a second date:. This is a personal favorite of mine.
For the past year or dating, I have made the conscious effort to NOT state what it is I am looking for upon meeting someone in person or online. I am very happy to remain single. I have a wonderful career, great friends and an amazing family that keep me pretty busy.
Should an awesome guy enter the equation — great. But a partner is neither going to define who I am or make or break my future.
If someone reaches out to speak to me, I ask them what they are looking for because I am amenable. I am happy to have fun, meet new friends or go on dates in the hopes that it turns into a relationship. If not, then why go on a date in the Mellott in single gay men place? There are an endless amounts of ways for gay men to get their dick sucked in large metropolitan areas: This seems a pretty fair assessment to me.
You may end up being pleasantly surprised by what you find. This excuse for not meeting again is the oldest and lamest of them all. We are all busy at work, and honestly, I would expect nothing less from the person I am dating.
I love a man with drive. Again, I am calling bullshit on this excuse. We all have jobs and lives: If you are not in a position to date someone right now, you should not be going on dates.
Unless you plan to date a newborn baby, we all have baggage.