My friend had just shared a frustrating experience she had involving cross-race dynamics at work with a senior executive who happened to be a white woman.
But you had an emergency and communicated with all the right people about why you were late! People feel as though my time and space is theirs to intrude on. I made a commitment to do more say more, share more, and listen more at the end of our conversation. I hear stories like this every week, and I feel responsible for speaking up. I question I often ask myself and others is this: She broke it down with this acronym: Kayla Reed is brilliant, and I feel grateful for her leadership, geniusness, and presence moving the racial justice conversation forward in powerful ways.
Also, in this Guide to Allyshipthe authors share: Black people do not need allies. We need people to stand up and take on the problems borne of oppression as My allies are intend to love me own, without remove or distance. We need people to use common sense to figure out how to participate in social justice. It means you are taking on the struggle as your own.
A marginalized individual cannot easily cast away the weight of their identity through oppression on a whim.
They must carry that weight every single day, for better or for worst. An ally understands that this is a weight that they too must be willing to carry and never put down.
Regardless of how much I know or feel, they are the expert of their experience. I aspire to be someone who listens with empathy and curiosity—and that is not easy across racial difference. Listening beyond the words and tuning-in to body language allows us to sharpen our understanding and identify the best ways to navigate a given conversation though.
To me, this one is the essence of solidarity. Us white folks often times see injustice and intuitively want to help.
That can be experienced as condescending. If I have a platform, I should make sure honor the voices that need to be heard most. We need to be aware, intentional, and mindful when leveraging privilege.
Royce: I`m very kind and friendly, I always treat people with respect. I am a cheerful, careful, audacious and honest lady. I have a good sense of humor. I don’t live only in my dreams. I love horror movies.
I need to reflect on how my identity impacts the opportunities I have available to me. To yield, means to pause and wait, with mindfulness of my airtime.
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Reflect and loop back: A full-circle moment with my friend looked like this: I deeply admire your strength, patience, and perseverance. Is there anything I can do differently or anything you need from me? Being open to feedback is essential. Before, during, and after we show up with solidarity-intentions, we must stay unattached to particular outcomes.
Because, if we really want to build bridges and heal divides—deeper self-reflection—with our hearts, minds, and clear eyes—is essential.
This journey involves interrupting patterns and confronting incongruences, which can sometimes shake us. We all have blindspots. I will always ask myself this question: Remember, lasting transformation cannot happen overnight.
The more we do something, the more confident we become at it. With a Masters from Stanford, and extensive training in leadershipcoaching, team and organizational development, S.
Spark even more meaningful conversations in your community this holiday season. So what do we do? Where do we start?
A -always center on the impacted 1. L -listen and learn from the oppressed 2. This is the one that involves most discernment.
To me, yielding the floor means always being mindful of whose voices are in the room and creating space for those who need it. Other voices need to be heard.
S — Show up. Just show up P — Pause.
Reflect on your intentions. Listen with fearlessness and intentionality A- Ask before assuming. Leadership development experiences involve: Increasing comfort navigating the transitions, tensions, and complexities of their organization.
Curious to learn more?
I also wrote this piece a few weeks ago, where I shared some reflections on my experience. For more on blind-spots, click here. What are you curious to learn more about?
Click here to get in on this special! A -always center on the impacted L -listen and learn from the oppressed L -leverage your privilege Y -yield the floor. A -always center on the impacted. As you do this announce to the space around you things like, “I/we intend to work your arms as if to welcome an old friend and invoke your personal allies and “Come now spirits who guide me, spirits who protect me, spirits who love me!.
As the only black executive on my team, I feel like I can't get angry or show emotion, because not only I feel as though I have no allies on my team, and it's very difficult to say the least.”. “I intend to listen more closely to. courage with which the hatred of a usurper will inspire my soldiers, who love me, and will, The prince of Lucca has called me, perhaps he believes me to be, a traitor; I am none I promised my allies not to submit; and my word is sacred.