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Gay dating for virgins

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Sex between men is a beautiful, passionate, awesome thing. Do you want to try anal sex? Do you want to kiss, suck, rub, or touch?

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What do you try first? Where do you begin? How do you keep yourself safe from sexually transmitted infections? These questions and more are covered here. Keep reading for 21 things to know before losing your gay virginity. My name is Alexander Cheves, and I am known by friends in the kink and leather community as Beastly.

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I am a sex-positive writer and blogger. Like everything I write, the intent of this piece is to break down the stigmas surrounding the sex lives of gay men. Those who are sensitive to frank discussions about sex are invited to click elsewhere, but consider this: For all others, enjoy the slideshow.

And feel free to leave your own suggestions of sex and dating topics in the comments. Photo by Jon Dean. This is a fact queer youth have to face: Men who have sex with men and transgender women are most at risk for HIV, and have high rates for other sexually transmitted infections too.

It just means you need to be in a place in life where you can get routine STI testing — men who have sex with men should be tested for HIV and other STIs every months, minimum. It can be very difficult for teenagers Gay dating for virgins gain access to STI testing and treatment.

Considering popping the cherry? Read...

You may even need your parents to drive you to the doctor. This can create some tough scenarios for young queer people who may not feel safe coming out to their parents. Here is a resource to help you find STI testing centers. Some MSM men who have sex with men are bisexual. Some are questioning and unsure what to call themselves.

Gay dating for virgins always will be.

While our gay community is...

But how do you feel about sex? Do you feel ready? I used sex as an outlet to Gay dating for virgins my fears and frustrations with my parents, with no thought of what might happen if I caught an STI. The real possibility of having to explain to my religious family what I had been doing never crossed my mind. I was lucky that I never had to face that scenario. Thanks to a culture that is and always will be hetero-oriented, queer people are often delayed.

Many of us wait until we have safe space and medical resources to start having sex. Many Gay dating for virgins us wait until we leave our parents and have our own places to live — which affords us the privacy and freedom to start experimenting.

Many of us wait until we find a community of others like us — potential sex partners included.

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The mechanics of sex may feel uncomfortable and painful. It might not happen the first time.

Making out, hand jobs, sucking, and even gentle kissing and massaging are a great way to start. Some people come out of the gate thinking they know exactly what they want sexually, but most of us are unsure. No one knows what they want in the beginning. You will be thrown a lot of terminology, especially if you look for sex with men on hookup apps like Grindr.

Words like top, bottom, versatile, bare, raw, party, safe, poz, neg, cum, daddy, dom, sub, boy, otter, bear, pig.

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The list goes on and on. You can and should experience both! You make these mistakes now, learn from them, and are better prepared going forward. The Gay dating for virgins sex partners are the ones getting regular testing for HIV and other STIs — a minimum of every three to six months — and who are protecting themselves with condoms and PrEP more on those later.

When someone asks, you can tell them that: That question is designed to shame and manipulate you. Anal penetration might hurt the first time you try it.

Your ass has to expand to accomodate a penis, and this stretching can hurt. Going slow and gentle, using plenty of lube, communicating, and taking frequent breaks is how you get better at it.

A word of warning from...

Read my guide on bottoming health and safety Gay dating for virgins here. If you want to research different methods of cleaning men who have sex with men do, go for it. Many guys douche before sex, but douching is not a requirement to have a good experience. You can use water to clean your butt specifically, the lower part of your rectum, the space just inside your hole with a drugstore enema or handheld bulb. If you buy a drugstore enema, many of them are filled with laxatives, which you should empty out and replace with water before you use them.

Going too fast or too rough can be painful I recommend a thick, silicone-based lube for the insertion tip. Also, make sure you try to release all the water into the toilet — leftover water stuck in your butt can cause Gay dating for virgins later on. When your butt is filled with water, wait a few seconds, then release it into the toilet. Repeat as necessary until the water is clear.

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Be gentle, and go slow! Again, not every guy douches before sex. A healthy, fiber-rich diet lots of veggies, less meat eliminates the need to douche for some. Whether or not it ruins the sex mood is up to you. Douching should be minimal. A fiber-rich diet, or a daily fiber supplement like Metamucil, will minimize how much time you spend in the shower or on a toilet. All sexually active people do. Having any sex puts you at risk for HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and other sexually transmitted infections, or STIs.

Thankfully there are many ways you can Gay dating for virgins yourself.